" 5 Seconds" of pure Chivas

It's Fin's birthday poolside barbecue party and we are so freakin busy getting things ready. The day before the party we contemplated going to Barcelona again! I said no no no! But they said yes yes yes! So I oso yes lar! I seriously gotta learn to say no to my besties... Seriously. Anywayz, we went because Ira made arrangements with Fin's course mate to go. I was feeling so sleepy and ended up sleeping in the taxi. When we reached we met up with D'lah and it wasn't right away I can tell you that. We went in and had a table waiting for us as usual. Haha. I never knew that D'lah was so nice. Fin got drunk like he always does and was puking all over. He fell so many times I lost track. Lucky our strong man Teddy.B was there to carry him and D'lah sent us back. So sweet kan? When we reached home Teddy.B started puking also in front of the guard house. Hahaha. It was so hilarious. O yea, and Ira was talking rubbish the whole time in the car. These Sabahan people. Ish ish.... But little did I know what I would be going through two days from now.


Next day, the three of us went to Tesco to buy stuff for the party. And the bill wasn't that cheap! We had sushi after the crazy shopping spree. Me and Fin makan nicely while Ira was like looking for dishes that had no seafood, was not raw and that looked edible. Haha. Good luck! I was so tired of calling for the freakin cab. When he finally came, we stuffed everything in the booth. The taxi man was kindda rude and irritating. I wanted to slap him! We reached home, carried all the stuff up and gave Teddy.B his McD he requested for. Then, Liana came after the concert in Limkokwing. I merinated everything and we wanted to go for a midnight movie but tak jadi because we would be too tired the next day.

The day of the Barbecue. Got up around three something in the evening. Hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch. The three of us were just sitting and chatting happily. Not even bothered that we didn't even buy the charcoal for the fire. Its already 5 something. Now only do we move our lazy butts. I went to take a bath and then went and cut the vegetables to make the salad. Now, one by one the calls start coming. Fin has to put the phone to my ears because my hands were kindda wet and stuff. Thri comes just in time to help with the cutting and stuff. Didn't wanna let her do work since she was our "guest" but she insisted so I said " Ok la". O yea... And we still had not got the charcoal yet. It was already around 8pm and the guests were arriving. My whole family came and luckily my uncle Prabu came because we finnaly went and bought the charcoal and collected the cake that Fin didn't know about. By the time we came back it was nearly 9pm and we rushed to the poolside to start the fire. Everyone was hungry especially me. After all the effort we put into starting the fire, guess what happens?

It freakin RAINS!!

There is no shelter for the stupid barbeque and still, Prabu doesn't wanna give up. He says " I won't give up". The words of such determination. Haha. I had to stand there with the umbrella, trying to keep him from getting wet. While, he was holding Fin's umbrella to protect the precious fire of his. Eventually, we gave up and went upstairs. All the stuff was still downstairs so we had to carry them up again. When we were home, Ira and my mama were busy frying all the stuff. I was so hungry I felt sick smelling the food. Everyone was sitting in the hall talking and stuff. I joined them a little while after. Later, I sneaked downstairs to the car to get the cake out. I left the cake outside the door and called Ira. She came and we lit the candles. I switched off all the lights and we sang happy birthday. Fin actually thought that the electricity went off but he was so touched. Me and Ira rock! Woohoo.... Soon after, my family went home and that's when I started drinking. Haizzz... I really regret the " 5 Seconds" of pure Chivas down my throat. That's when I did and said so many stupid things (I'm gonna leave out that part in this post). I got up the next day not remembering a thing I did and I had the worst gastric pains ever! I was puking non stop. I couldn't take the pain and thank god my mama was in KL. They came as soon as they could. Ira made me porridge( Love her to bits la) And it was damn nice summore. I usually wont eat at all but I tried to eat a bit. Took me sometime before I could get myself to get up and go to the clinic. On the way there, I started to feel so much better. I started singing in the car all. Haha. When we reached, I asked my sister to get me a slurppy from 7/11. It was the best slurppy I ever had! It was just so perfect. I finally got to see the doctor and she started advising me about drinking and stuff. She said I was too thin. Haha. I didn't wanna get a jab on my butt so I got prescribed some medication. And I went home.

The End.....

The gift of love. My mama.

In just a blink of an eye she sees her children growing up and time is against her. Her only son is leaving for University barely noticing the remorse in her eyes as she watches him go. She has to let him go. Let him spread his wings and leave the nest. He is sad to leave but at least has something to look forward to. A new life. Freedom. Friends. What does she have to look forward to but a phone call from her only son. The first few days are hard for him but he soon adjusts and finds friends whom he will cherish for life. He is swamped with work,partying, sleeping. The calls become less frequent but he still thinks of her. Always. She is a working woman. Always busy with keeping everybody happy and helping others. Not even once stopping to do something for herself. It is from her heart that he has learned the meaning of love. The meaning of passion. The meaning of perseverance. She awaits for that one call that would brighten her day. An everlasting bliss. How much she would want to hear his voice even if it was just to ask her for money to buy a branded new outfit. Even though there is no money to give. She will find a way. She always does. To know that her only son is happy and safe is all she needs. His eyes are blinded by so many temptations. So many distractions. He is but blind to the very essence of this lady who has sacrificed her whole life for him. All he thinks about is himself. ME ME ME. What has he ever done to make her proud? What has he ever done? Nothing. But a new dawn has set and....

He has changed. He is renewed. His eyes are finally open . So much hurt he has sometimes befallen her but not anymore. He will try to become a better son. A better brother. He has been away long enough to know. Just know. He will forever be great full. Nothing will come in between the love of a mother and her son. The most wonderful gift of love he has been given from God is his mother. My mama.

" You had to leave to spread your wings. I didn't want to let you go but I knew it was about doing what was right for you. There is a vacuum in my heart that I fill up when I see you. I will always love you my son" my mother sent me this message on my phone yesterday morning.

To wait for true love is total bull!!!

Come on... Do you honestly believe that once you love somebody it means you love them forever? Do you believe that you will never get over your ex? That he or she is the only one? Think again. To be frank, I was one of those naive teens who did and it so happened, I loved a girl who still thinks in that manner but times have changed and so have I. Being away from home has made me more firm in my personal beliefs and given me a self confidence boost like no other. Haha. I'm not vain or anything just more out there. I was seriously an entirely different person. I know it sounds cliche' but its something that has changed my perspective entirely.

Ok... Let's get into the whole reason of this post. I want everyone reading this be it you agree or disagree with what I have to say, know that love is undoubtedly, undeniably and most certainly blind to the heart. A heart sees no flaws, sees no reason to doubt. A heart merely feels and this emotion is sometimes so strong with a certain special someone that we forget the world we live in. Why is it that people always say that it is hard to get over your first love? Why do we tell ourself that we will never feel what we felt for another person again? It is because we fear that that person might never love us the same or that our heart can never love the same again. The truth is, we can but what we end up doing is wait... and wait.... and wait...... Time is just a pillow we use to comfort our heart. Using time as an excuse is saddening. Ponder on this... If the one whom you thought was your "true love" actually turned out not to be the one, then why do you want to wait untill you find the right person? Why don't you put yourself out there and get to know millions of other people. Enjoy the time you have left and pick out the ones who are suitable. From there, I am sure you will find someone who makes your heart feel like its going on a roller coaster ride. If your gonna reject every person that comes to your doorstep and wait for your true love or still hold on the past then I'm sorry to say this but your just going to end up alone.

So, all I'm saying is.... Don't waste time. Be willing to take chances. You never know what might be waiting for you at the end of that road. Don't just close your eyes and wait for your true love to come to you. Open your heart and seek them out.

"Preserve sweet memories but do not linger on them, for only sheer sorrow emmites from the pasts that no longer exist." a quote by me.